Spiritual Testament

My dear Family and Friends,

I have not been able to write to each of you, and so I have written you all a letter by way of saying farewell—Adios!—until we meet again in God. I hope to be with Him, and with my father, and all whom I have loved and who have gone before me by the time these words reach you. Please accept my most humble thanks for all the Masses, prayers, sacrifices and support you have given me since my illness began. I would not have been able to carry on without them. Above all, I am so very grateful to my husband who has been my rock through all I have gone through, as well as my children, my mother and my siblings. I ask you to continue to pray for me, and to hasten my return to the embrace of our Heavenly Father. The words of St. Augustine come to mind: "Thou hast made us for Thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in Thee." And of course when I have reached that eternal happiness, I will not cease to pray for you all.

I have striven to do God’s will with a cross I did not want. I fought, I shouted, I cried full of self-pity. Eventually I let go of it all. I want to get to Heaven.

To my Family and Friends who have the faith, don’t give up. If you are finding it hard to pray, or to go to Mass or you are missing out on the Sacraments, I entreat you to get back to basics without delay. You have the means to obtain Heaven for all eternity. Don’t throw it away. Don’t give up now. Fight for the life of your soul and those of your families!

To those who do not have the faith, please don’t waste another day. You have but one life to live and then eternity will come upon you.

Today you are alive and busy, with lots to do, people to see, places to go. But what about tomorrow? No one can know.

Becoming a Catholic does not mean that everything in life will be made perfect. It does not make everything perfect and may even bring you more crosses. Some of you may feel that you will never be good enough to become Catholics, but this, of course, is not true. You will probably go through hard times trying to become Catholic, since the devil wishes you to be ignorant and not to convert. In your head the devil will denigrate the Catholic faith, give you endless reasons why you shouldn’t bother and will ridicule it cruelly. The devil does not want you to worship God. Will you listen to a liar? The greater the criticism in your head, the greater the devil’s working against you. Becoming Catholic is the only true path you can follow to try and obtain Heaven. We are all imperfect. St. Peter denied Christ three times before the cock crowed. But did St. Peter give up? No. Then why should you? The harder the fight, the greater the reward.

I want to see all my Family and Friends in Heaven and I will be praying for you but you have to do your part.

I am grateful, by the grace of God, to be a Traditional Catholic and to have attended the Mass of all Time since my twenties. I only regret my past sins and ask pardon of anyone whom I have inadvertently offended or scandalised.

I beg you to remember me at Holy Mass and in your Rosaries when I am gone.

Yours in Jesus, Mary and Joseph,

Zita Isabel Martinez

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